When faced with decisions, those of us with ADHD may fall into two categories - you want to have the best information possible before moving forward, or you jump without looking.
Some people spend too much time trying to find as much information as they can, and they miss opportunities because of it. Information is a key component in decision making. However, sometimes, you simply have to decide and live with the decision without any information.
You don’t want others to view you as someone who makes rash decisions. You’ll lose credibility when you do this and people won’t take you seriously. However, you must prepare yourself for certain times where being decisive is necessary. For instance, you may be registering for classes at your college and discover that a few of the courses you were hoping to take are full. You are given other choices but are unsure of how that will fit into your overall plan. Do you enroll in those alternative classes?
You may decide to go for the classes. If they are part of your curriculum, you can always rework your plan so that they fit in. Talk to your academic advisor and ask how to proceed after taking this new path. Of course, you could always drop the classes if they don’t fit well.
The point is if a decision doesn't work out the wrong results can usually be fixed. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge. The shoe company Nike has a slogan that has worked for them for several decades now. That slogan is 'Just Do It!'
A structured living doesn't fit well with some people. They need the excitement that comes with making spontaneous decisions. Who is to say that their way is wrong? It may not work for others, but for them, it works quite well. You may know people who are like this and are envious of them.
That isn’t the same scenario as people who don’t do much with their lives. Spontaneous decision makers are often doing many activities. You can decide to do nothing, but you won’t get very far. Unless you are lucky enough to come from money and your parents are willing to give you that money, you will need to find something to do.
Most people will find a balance of decisions they make based on information and spontaneous decisions. The process of decision making becomes easier the more you do it. Therefore, when you need to make spontaneous decisions, it will not be as difficult after a while.
Which ever category you fit into, find a way to accept that about yourself and view the outcomes as experiments that you learned from. Shame spirals don't help you progress - they keep you rooted in place.
Next time a decision didn't work out like you wanted, yell "Plot twist!" and try something new, but learn from the outcome of your decision. Let me know if you need to talk through the results to find the bright side.
I am overwhelmed, I am tired, but I am determined. My children deserve to enjoy the benefits of our ADHD gifts, and so do I.